with a heavy heart i must disclose that paul blart: mall cop does not pass the bechdel test
*at a slumber party*
*playing Simon says*
kid: clap your hands
me: *claps*
kid: Simon didn’t say says :)
me: that man doesn’t control me, no man controls me
concept: me, a housewife, putting two lean cuisines in the microwave. i drink an entire bottle of chardonnay during the four minutes the chicken fettuccine takes to heat up. my husband walks through the door just as i place the entrée on the table. he thanks me for slaving away all day over a hot stove. i have succeed in passing the lean cuisine off as my own creation. when he’s done, i tell him im in love with our maid, helen–who bears a striking resemblance to margot robbie–and that i will see him in court. im blind drunk and jump into a 1960s pink convertible that helen is driving. we laugh about the lean cuisines.
the scariest president had to be Rushmore because he had four heads
it’s a good thing we captured him in that mountain even if we have to live in fear of the spell wearing off :/
cool girls are everywhere but its such a challenge to find one guy thats like mildly interesting to talk to……. it’s like they all have the personality of an actual adidas sandal
Maybe you’re a bitch
i mean i definitely am but youre still boring
